Crier Quotes “God damn! This weave is itchy as a motherf**ker” - Rapunzel Speed Reads New Poll Shows Majority of American Women Say Thickness, Not Size, of Pancakes More Satisfying CINCINNATI, OH — After polling women exiting their local IHOP, researchers at Xavier University report a majority of American women prefer thickness to size when it comes to a pancake’s ability to satisfy. “There’s a lot of misconceptions about what women want,” said lead researcher, Dr. Carly Pileggi, “especially on the internet.” Women polled said it is all about managing expectations. “Look, if you walk in expecting to get served a big stack and all they have is silver dollars, yeah, that’s going to be a letdown. But, if the batter is good, the batter is good. No amount of size can make up for bad batter.” Seventy-two percent of women polled agreed that a short stack is nothing to be ashamed of, and 81 percent say when it comes to their long-term pancake intake, a thicker albeit shorter stack will keep them coming back for more. “Don’t get me wrong,” said one respondent, “a big stack looks great on Instagram and will make your friends jealous for sure, but many a time in my life, I have had a short stack and needed to stop after a while because it was too filling.” A bigger stack wasn’t completely ruled out, however, as 67 percent of women said everyone should experience what it is like to have a big stack at least once in their life. One woman told researchers she went through a phase in college where she would exclusively eat chocolate pancakes, but that was just to make her parents angry. Recalling the first time she saw a stack of chocolate pancakes, the woman said, “I couldn’t believe my eyes. I put my elbow on the table, and the stack ran the length of my entire forearm.” After a short pause of reflection and smile, she added, “sometimes, I’d have to unhinge my jaw just to get the whole thing in.” Dr. Pileggi hopes her research will shed light on the myths revolving around pancake size and give confidence to those serving up shorter stacks. After answering the pollsters' questions, a group of well-satisfied women sat in a corner booth, each lighting a cigarette.
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Crier Quotes “God damn! This weave is itchy as a motherf**ker” - Rapunzel Speed Reads New Poll Shows Majority of American Women Say Thickness, Not Size, of Pancakes More Satisfying CINCINNATI, OH — After polling women exiting their local IHOP, researchers at Xavier University report a majority of American women prefer thickness to size when it comes to a pancake’s ability to satisfy. “There’s a lot of misconceptions about what women want,” said lead researcher, Dr. Carly Pileggi, “especially on the internet.” Women polled said it is all about managing expectations. “Look, if you walk in expecting to get served a big stack and all they have is silver dollars, yeah, that’s going to be a letdown. But, if the batter is good, the batter is good. No amount of size can make up for bad batter.” Seventy-two percent of women polled agreed that a short stack is nothing to be ashamed of, and 81 percent say when it comes to their long-term pancake intake, a thicker albeit shorter stack will keep them coming back for more. “Don’t get me wrong,” said one respondent, “a big stack looks great on Instagram and will make your friends jealous for sure, but many a time in my life, I have had a short stack and needed to stop after a while because it was too filling.” A bigger stack wasn’t completely ruled out, however, as 67 percent of women said everyone should experience what it is like to have a big stack at least once in their life. One woman told researchers she went through a phase in college where she would exclusively eat chocolate pancakes, but that was just to make her parents angry. Recalling the first time she saw a stack of chocolate pancakes, the woman said, “I couldn’t believe my eyes. I put my elbow on the table, and the stack ran the length of my entire forearm.” After a short pause of reflection and smile, she added, “sometimes, I’d have to unhinge my jaw just to get the whole thing in.” Dr. Pileggi hopes her research will shed light on the myths revolving around pancake size and give confidence to those serving up shorter stacks. After answering the pollsters' questions, a group of well-satisfied women sat in a corner booth, each lighting a cigarette.