Crier Quotes “If I’m looking to get lucky, I’ll rub a few strategic locations with bacon.” - Dolly Parton Feature Distant Relative Reminds Local Man He Used to be “This Big” WARSAW, IL — Well, it looks like its back to therapy for local man Hank Zacksby as his third cousin once removed on his mother’s side, Edna Irvington, reminded him of what a little man he used to be when the two were reintroduced at his sister’s wedding — saying, “I remember you when you were just a peanut, this big. Do you remember? You were so small. We couldn’t believe how small you were. Just a teeny tiny little thing. Do you remember?” She proceeded to taunt Zacksby by using her hand to indicate the height, just below her knee, that he used to stand before pinching and shaking Zacksby’s cheek. “God, that was like, a million years ago, I’m BIG now Cousin Edna, BIG!!” cried Zacksby as he stormed off. The evening then took a second, horrible turn, when Zacksby’s 104-year-old grandfather attempted to pull a quarter out from behind Zacksby’s ear and died instantly.
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Crier Quotes “If I’m looking to get lucky, I’ll rub a few strategic locations with bacon.” - Dolly Parton Feature Distant Relative Reminds Local Man He Used to be “This Big” WARSAW, IL — Well, it looks like its back to therapy for local man Hank Zacksby as his third cousin once removed on his mother’s side, Edna Irvington, reminded him of what a little man he used to be when the two were reintroduced at his sister’s wedding — saying, “I remember you when you were just a peanut, this big. Do you remember? You were so small. We couldn’t believe how small you were. Just a teeny tiny little thing. Do you remember?” She proceeded to taunt Zacksby by using her hand to indicate the height, just below her knee, that he used to stand before pinching and shaking Zacksby’s cheek. “God, that was like, a million years ago, I’m BIG now Cousin Edna, BIG!!” cried Zacksby as he stormed off. The evening then took a second, horrible turn, when Zacksby’s 104-year-old grandfather attempted to pull a quarter out from behind Zacksby’s ear and died instantly.