The Town Crier

Home
Archive
New
Top
#81
Crier Quotes “I have a lot of close friends. Most of them are spiders.” - Clay Aiken Feature Surgeon General Rethinks Harmfulness of Social Media After…
#80
Crier Quotes “YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!! YAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!!!” - Sen. Dianne Feinstein Feature Family Wins Hot Chicken Nugget Suit Against McDonald’s…
#79
Crier Quotes “I have a lot of close friends. Most of them are spiders.” - Clay Aiken Feature Anheuser-Busch Makes Amends for Bud Light Partnership with…
#78
Crier Quotes “Then, on the seventh day, I rested.” - George Santos Feature Fashion Executives Incensed Over Drop in Production Levels Due to Younger…
April 2023
#77
Crier Quotes “Now, I’m not usually a crier, but I’ll admit I was a puddle at the end of The Iron Giant.” - Payton Manning Feature Aaron Rodgers Signing…
#76
Crier Quotes “For me? You shouldn’t have.” - Clarence Thomas Feature A Cry for Help: Man Gets Table for One at Golden Corral OXNARD, CA — Concerns for a…
#75
Crier Quotes “Sit still, damn it, or the diaper won’t fit right!” - Dr. Jill Biden Feature Disturbing: 100% of 29-Year-Olds Diagnosed With Turning 30…
#74
Crier Quotes “Every night, until I was about twelve, I used to dream I was trapped in an elevator with Nicholas Cage.” - Joe Jonas Feature “It’s How He…
March 2023
#73
Crier Quotes “I own a variety of bronze statues depicting Shakespearean scenes played by toads.” - Willem Defoe Feature False Alarm: White House…
#72
Crier Quotes “I’ve never lost musical chairs.” - Rosa Parks Feature After First Week of NCAA Tournament, George Santos Reports Bracket Still Perfect…
#71
Crier Quotes “You guys mind if I get in on this?” - Brutus Feature To Comply With “Swissness” Law, Toblerone Will Stop Asking Where Customer Money Comes…
#70
Crier Quotes “WOOLY BUUUUUULLLLLYYYYY!!!!!!! WOOLY BULLY, WOOLY BULLY, WOOLY BULLY, WOOLY BULLY!” - Michelle Obama Feature Attending Awards Show, Will…
© 2023 Francis Lightfoot
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start WritingGet the app
Substack is the home for great writing